Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I intend to get homeless drunk
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
