How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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