In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
