I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize