4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Welp...herpes.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
