Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
