there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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