Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
