considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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