When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
