Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
