Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
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