idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
