i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
