did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
