I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
