I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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