we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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