I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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