Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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