so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
