please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
