I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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