it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
