Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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