I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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