$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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