If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
40s are totally the cure
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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