How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
