So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
