belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
