No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
