he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
