things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I think i got beer on your cat.
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