Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
