I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
