Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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