isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
