I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
