why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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