Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
