oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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