They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I had to cum in my sink.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
