Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
