Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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