He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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