My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
