i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Is it because I queefed?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
