Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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