I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I got her a Nickelback box set.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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