as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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