yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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