Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize