if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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