saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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