no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
