no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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