"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize