At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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