a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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