i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
