Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
