Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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