I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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